Cancer? What cancer?

You know what my favorite one-liner is? I'm X months cancer free. Seriously, it has not gotten old. 

A couple weeks ago I applied and was picked to be part of a Leadership program at work.  The company chose 2 or 3 people at each of its locations and shipped us all to Ohio to spend a week in the woods at a leadership camp. This entire process was outside my comfort zone from the beginning.  But as cliche as it sounds, cancer reminds you that life is short, so I might as well go on as many adventures as I can. To apply, you had to make a 2 minute video of yourself explaining why you wanted to be a Leadership Champion.  You know how many takes it took me? About 27. That's not an exaggeration. It got to the point where I filled the memory on my phone and couldn't record anymore.  Then with the video you had to submit a paragraph also explaining why you wanted to be Leadership Champion. I'm fine writing a blog. My real life writing skills? Not the greatest.

So here I am, in the middle of the woods, with 60 people I don't know - except for Hannah, my co-champion from Buffalo. Not nerve-wracking at all. We did an ice breaker to give everyone a chance to introduce themselves. We tossed this ball around that had lots of questions on it.  When you caught it, you had to answer the question under your thumb.  Mine was: What makes you happiest? So many things. But I decided to share THE thing. The Saturday following camp was going to mark my four month anniversary of being cancer free. Later on I was able to share with my little group the story of my red shoes.  Of course I had worn them on my first day at camp - it was a new adventure! 

Throughout the week we learned how to facilitate leadership seminars, did group activities, and on the last day we did a high ropes course - I looked forward to this part all week. On the ropes course I was paired up with a man named Greg.  He's a morning show host at a radio station out in Tucson. We made a great match - we were both up for trying anything. After we had our training and were suited up and strapped in, we made our way up to the top. We crossed some swinging steps and made our way to the zip line. I was so stinking excited. But as we stood there waiting for our turn I kind of lost it. I got super emotional and I couldn't even control it. How embarrassing. This poor guy was stuck with the crying girl. I wasn't scared though. It definitely wasn't fear. It was like everything in that moment was perfect. Here I was about to be 4 months cancer free and I got to fly.  Fly through the air as free as a bird.  And I was so grateful to have a partner who enjoyed the moment with me.  Definitely a moment I won't ever forget.

So to officially celebrate being cancer free, I decided - at a moment of insanity - that I should run a half marathon on my anniversary. 12 hours after landing in Buffalo after a week in the woods, I was standing at the start line of the Mighty Niagara Half Marathon.  I can't even tell you how many excuses I gave myself to not run this race.  I was exhausted. I hadn't trained well enough.  I had been down and out from fighting off shingles just a few weeks prior. SHINGLES! (I thought only old people get shingles.)  I needed to do this. I needed to prove to myself that I could do it. I wasn't dead. Just a little beat up.

My first half mile was like the scene of a movie. I got a bit emotional. I mean, I was running a freaking half marathon...after kicking cancer's ass. Then just ahead of me I saw a woman running wearing a pink breast cancer cape. How cool is that? She's like a cancer superhero! So I'm already emotional and then I see her and THEN "Seize the Day" from Newsies comes on my playlist...
"Now is the time to seize the day
Stare down the odds and seize the day"
Seriously, it was like I was set up or something.  (Yes, I'm ignoring the fact that your making fun of my music selection. It's my favorite musical, ok?) I catch up to the superhero and we run the first few miles together.  Here I was so proud because I was doing this race post cancer and she tells me she's currently being treated for breast cancer.  Her name is Janice and she's amazing.  Just amazing. 

Here is where the embarrassing part happened.  It's me. There's an embarrassing part to all my adventures. Turns out the digestion issues don't go away after you finish treatment.  Now they're not nearly as bad as they were during treatment, but I'm definitely not 100%. You know when a really bad time to have to "go" is?  When you're about 7 miles in to a 13 mile race and the next potty stop isn't for another 1.5 miles.  If you've never done this race or you don't live on the race route, you probably didn't know that some people tailgate in their front yards to watch and cheer the runners.  Its pretty great.  So I asked a tailgater if I could use their bathroom. And they said yes! These poor people let me into their beautiful Victorian home.....to poop. They're my heroes. 

After that, I finished the second half of the race and finished strong with a time of just over 3 hours.  For you non-running people, that's REALLY slow.  But this was the one race I didn't care about beating any records. I just needed to finish. I'm so thankful for my husband and sister who were there cheering me on throughout the race, offering to pick me up when they found out I was in a stranger's house, and letting me cry on their shoulders after I crossed the finish line.  I'm a survivor, guys.  I did it.

And the people who let me poo at their house? I wrote down their name and address and the next week I sent them a pack of toilet paper and an air freshener.

"Every Party Has A Pooper....

....that's why we invited you! Party Pooper! Party Pooper!"  -Franck Eggelhoffer, Father of the Bride II

It's my blog.  I can talk about poop if I want to. 

Turns out when the blast zone of your radiation is around a good part of your digestive system, it wreaks a little havoc.  Cool.  Awesome.

So weekend #2 turned out to be a dud.  I'm 0 for 2.  Maybe the 3rd time is a charm.  Here's the deal - I like to eat.  I used to weigh over 250 lbs.  The fact that I like to eat shouldn't be a shocker.  When you have to leave a fun taco fiesta with super fun people on Saturday and then can't take part in the fun junk food festivities of Super Bowl Sunday because your stomach HATES you, it's quite disappointing.  There actually came a point in the weekend where I was talking to myself - out loud - telling myself, "Self, this will stop sucking soon. You can do this."  Luckily I listened.  It always gets better.

There also came a point in the weekend where I told my husband that I think child birth was easier than this.  I seem to keep comparing this adventure to child birth.  Maybe because it's happening "down there"? Maybe because that's the only other major trauma my body has gone through?  Who knows.  When I was pregnant the 1st time, my friend's mother told me child birth was the easiest pain to forget.  She was spot on.  Hell while it's happening, yet as soon as it's done, I wanted to sign up again.  Maybe that's why I always wanted to be a surrogate.  That dream is out the window now, but I'd sign up for that a million times if I were able to.  OK, maybe not a million, but you get the idea.

So here it is Monday again.  My 3rd chemo is done!  If all goes according to my current schedule, there should only be 2 more...but there's a possibility for more, so I'm not getting my hopes up yet.  Like the last 2 Mondays, I'm a fan of the chemicals and steroids making me feel like Superwoman.  I'm taking it easy with the chow, though.  (Not to say I didn't finish off a good chunk of my Mom's homemade apple crisp a little while ago - Thanks, Mommy)

Unfortunately there's no set formula for this.  There's no magic list of foods that will agree with what's going on in there.  I'm told it's trial and error.  Everyone reacts differently.  I'll have to think of it as an adventure within my adventure!  We'll see how this goes.  1 ticket to Blandville, please.  I'd like a window seat.

This picture was an accident. I have no idea why it changed color on me, but the awareness ribbon color for cervical cancer is teal and white.  Pretty darn cool coincidence, if you ask me.